Pitchfork published a terrific profile of Justin Vernon, aka Bon Iver, aka the guy who writes songs so mournful that he turned a generation of sad boys into sad men. Jeremy D. Larson’s piece is rich with details about the Eau Claire County crooner, but the best one is in the first sentence: “Justin Vernon lights a blunt as he charges his Tesla, which is affectionately named John Teshla.” It’s hilarious imagining that the man, famous for writing sad tunes alone in the woods, drives the automobile preferred by Logan Paul. But it’s even better that he’s named it after a pun on everyone’s favorite former Entertainment Tonight host and composer of the best sports theme song. While we’re talking about Bon Iver, I’ve actually been thinking a lot about the music I liked in high school and college, thanks to the many mutations of the Spongebob lunch table memes that have polluted my timeline: (I’m a one, four, and five, in that order — though I have some misgivings about these groupings. Anyway.) I got to wondering: what would the indie bands I loved a decade ago name their Teslas? So like Justin Vernon, I lit a blunt, charged my electric car, and wrote down some ideas. Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Model Y Control The Shins: Car-ing Is Creepy MGMT: Electric Feel (don’t even have to do anything to this one) LCD Soundsystem: Azealia Banks Is Playing at My House Arcade Fire: My Battery Is a Cage The Killers: SpaceXman… [Read full story]
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